64 out of 90 people found the following comment useful :- Turn Off Your Brain, 10 June 2008
Author:
newfnshow616 from United States
I walked into the theater with my brain shut off. And if you enjoy Adam
Sandler, you have to. If you go by typical standards, all of Adam
Sandler's movies are absolute garbage. But yet people still love them,
I am one of them.
I went into this looking to have fun watching a movie, and I did. Yes,
it was ridiculous in every possible way, but it was pretty much exactly
what I was paying to see, Adam Sandler's sense of humor running rampant
with all of his friends holding down bit parts.
If you are looking for a high quality, well thought-out story with
twists and turns and an ending that ties it all together and leaves you
walking out of the theater satisfied, look elsewhere.
But if you aren't easily offended and are a fan of Adam Sandler's work,
then you'll have fun with the silky smooth goodness that Zohan brings
to the table.
165 out of 305 people found the following comment useful :- Hair Pollution, 28 May 2008
Author:
southsider2000 from Canada
*** This comment may contain spoilers ***
You know, sometimes I just don't understand what the heck is going
through Adam Sandler's head. He's a funny guy with natural charisma
and, I would guess, a reasonable level of intelligence. So why does he
feel compelled to write and produce films of such appallingly low
quality? It worked with his initial efforts, Billy Madison and Happy
Gilmore. Those two films defied any sense of logical criticism. They
were sloppy, yet contained a maniacal sense of anarchic glee. He seemed
thrilled at what he was getting away with. Yet, since the release of
those films over a decade ago, he has continued to crank out
by-the-numbers mediocrity that lacks any feeling of comic discovery.
It is my unfortunate duty now to inform you that his latest, You Don't
Mess With The Zohan, is by far his most wretchedly awful film to date.
Sandler's character this time, a Mossad agent who dreams of being a
hairdresser, would probably fill a lame Saturday Night Live skit, but
stretched to over 100 minutes is akin to Chinese water torture.
Zohan isn't any normal secret agent; he's a walking caricature of crass
Middle Eastern stereotypes and snickering vulgarity. With a
Wham!-inspired haircut and a penchant for shtupping elderly women, he
finds employment at a small salon run by the sweet, yet blank, Dalia
(Emmanuelle Chriqui), a Palestinian woman with no patience for Zohan's
sexism. As can be predicted, despite their antagonistic relationship,
they soon are yearning to "make the bam-boom". Their insipid love story
intermingles with a laugh-free subplot featuring Zohan's nemesis the
Phantom (John Turturro) and a hapless Arab cab-driver (Rob Schneider,
ladies and gentlemen...) ineptly planning murder attempts.
Now, racial stereotyping and crude humor can be used to great comic
effect in the proper hands. The makers of Borat toed the line
brilliantly, delivering great vulgar hilarity mixed with social
commentary. You Don't Mess With The Zohan is not even in the same time
zone, much less ballpark. The film is amazingly hostile and
mean-spirited, mocking its targets with unfiltered scorn for the
majority of the running time, yet tacking on a "we're all the same"
message at the end. It's like the school-yard bully who beats the snot
out of you all semester but wishes you a good summer at when vacation
time rolls around. Why did no one involved in this debacle pull Sandler
aside and gently suggest that this material was unfilmable? Also
concerning is the amount of animal abuse presented for cheap laughs.
There is a particularly soul-killing scene featuring Zohan and two
friends playing hacky-sack with a cat. Now, a good writer would use
this undeniably objectionable act as a springboard to a larger pay-off.
That would redeem the bad taste and warrant the scene's inclusion. Not
here however, where the only apparent joke is that a trio of grown men
are kicking the stuffing out of a helpless animal.
What is almost fascinating about Zohan is how little interest the
screen-writers have in their own story. New story lines are launched at
random to replace the ones running out of gas. I couldn't believe that
the introduction of an evil land-developer to the film occurred near
the end of the second act. It would seem that writers' Sandler, Judd
Apatow, and Robert Smigel knew that their material was limited and
hoped that by padding it liberally, no one would notice. Hence, the
heavy helping of crotch close-ups, homophobia, hummus jokes, and dry
humping present. As well, the endless cameos come off as desperate and
pointless, although it is amusing that Mariah Carey has finally found a
fitting companion piece for Glitter.
To call You Don't Mess With The Zohan a misfire is a grand
understatement. It's a dreary trudge through migraine-inducing
territory that is all the more unforgivable considering the level of
talent involved. There's an old adage that it takes true skill and
artistry to create a truly horrific film, as hacks will only produce
bland mediocrity. Well, Zohan is a colossal achievement, a film that
will receive endless mentions on "Worst of 2008" lists, and the rants
of legions of angry ticket-buyers. With that said though, Sandler may
have inadvertently found a point of agreement for Israelis and
Palestinians. I think that both sides would agree that You Don't Mess
With The Zohan flat-out SUCKS!
57 out of 90 people found the following comment useful :- Uneven, but funny, 7 June 2008
Author:
wolverinesforever from United States
Look folks, this is ADAM SANDLER we're talking about here. Yes, this is
the same stuff that he was doing ten years ago with "The Waterboy."
Yes, this is the same company that brought us "Happy Gilmore" and
"Click." And yes, while I have aged a bit since I could appreciate the
his silliness, there is still a part of me that enjoys the goofy fun
that Adam Sandler likes to put on screen. I knew very well coming in to
the 7:45 showing of "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" that this was going
to be crazy. And sure enough, it was. But you know what, I liked it, my
friend liked it, quite a few people in the audience liked it, it was a
good time had.
Adam Sandler loves to put himself in ridiculous situations. In
"Gilmore," he was a hockey nut with a hidden talent for golf. In "Mr.
Deeds," he became a billionaire overnight. This guy has played football
(twice), gone on fifty first dates, paused and sped up his life, and
married Kevin James. Now, he's an Isreali counter-terrorist with a
fetish for cutting hair. Oh, and he loves making sexual remarks as much
as Borat does. Sound familiar? Thought it did.
So how does the humor compare to previous Sandler features? Well, it's
unfocused. Part of the problem is that three writers with different
mentalities are writing the script. The silliness comes from Sandler,
the raunchy stuff comes from Apatow, and everything else comes from
Smigel. Although I found myself laughing at quite a few parts
(particularly when the Zohan was on the job as a soldier), there were
also a lot of parts where I was thinking to myself "Come on. Another
shot of the crotch?" (Or butt, or some other sexual reference) All of
these various ingredients have been thrown in together, and the end
result is, let's face it, uneven.
But though the movie may have lacked focus, I couldn't help but have
fun with it. You see, unlike "Mr. Deeds" (which I found boring and
lame), this film goes whole hog. Sandler and the cast surrounding him
do almost everything in their power to make a joke out of something.
These guys aren't sleepwalking through their roles, to the contrary,
they're having a great time putting on a show. It's contagious. About
halfway through the movie, I began to realize the reason I was having
fun with the "Zohan" was because this movie essentially gives out an
open invitation to enjoy the silliness that was being presented. By the
end of the movie, Sandler had done the most outrageous acts I had seen
him do since "Happy Gilmore." And frankly, I think I prefer Sandler
when he just tries everything.
Fans of Sandler will most likely enjoy this one, non-fans should pass.
For what it's worth, "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" is a good
continuation of the act Sandler has put on for us for over a decade
now. Worth a Saturday matinée.
78 out of 136 people found the following comment useful :- Not as bad as everyone says., 8 June 2008
Author:
Michael M. from United States
While I've never been a -huge- fan of Adam Sandler's films, I have
watched them and laughed throughout most of them. I'm the type of guy
who enjoys some slapstick, some raunchy humor, and a lot of zanyness.
I went into Zohan not expecting anything but pure frivolous humor. You
don't go into films like this with any expectations, and I think that's
where a lot of the reviewers prior to myself went wrong. They went in
expecting to see an evolution of Sandler's humor, and while I would say
that Zohan raised the bar a tad, it's still Adam Sandler. Yes, it's
going to have a corny ending, a lot of physical humor, and a healthy
dose of humor aimed at the more intelligent in the crowd as well.
Overall, I couldn't stop giggling, laughing, and chuckling throughout
most of the film. After a long streak of not seeing any humor films, I
thought it was the perfect thing to bring me back to comedies. The last
few years, especially, have been incredibly lackluster in regards to
comedies (if that's what evolution of the genre is, count me out, by
the way), and I found Zohan refreshing.
I think another thing a lot of the other reviewers missed, is that the
film in no way expected to take itself seriously. The only serious
moments were cheesy, predictable, and ultimately corny, which is irony
in itself and only contributed to my bemused chuckling. Yes, a lot of
the humor bordered on racial stereotyping, there were a lot of
over-the-top accents and allusions to the Middle East, so if you're the
type to get touchy about that, feel free to skip. I found it to be a
rather hilarious joke on the seriousness that everybody applies to the
stereotyping. The stereotyping is, actually, rather fair and towards
the end even shows plenty of "good stereotyping" (as accurate as
stereotyping ever is, which is to say, rarely).
Really, the film laughs at itself. Are there some bum moments?
Certainly, but it seems that's been the case for almost every film I've
seen in the last few years, but it was grand seeing the cast and crew
not try to make this the 'next great comedy' and just have a buttload
of fun.
And if the cast and crew are laughing at themselves (which you can
clearly feel through the screen), you can't help but laugh with them.
If you want to spend an hour or two snickering and have an open mind,
give Zohan a shot. Don't expect an evolution of comedy. Don't expect
the bar to be raised, because that's not what this film was trying to
do. It was trying to be ridiculous and make people utter that ever so
fantastic groaning-giggle followed by the heart chuckle.
Don't let the other critics fool you, they've probably forgotten the
meaning of the word 'satire'.
37 out of 59 people found the following comment useful :- Among the bottom of the barrel., 8 June 2008
Author:
spirit_of_truth2000 from United States
*** This comment may contain spoilers ***
"You Don't Mess With the Zohan" is the newest regurgitated $hitfest
unleashed upon us by the brilliant minds of comedian Adam Sandler and
director Dennis Dugan. The movie chronicles the absurd, zany story of
Zohan Dvir, a ridiculously offensive special agent of an Isralei
counter-terrorism organization known as the "Mossad". His
extraordinarily stupid fake accent and personality that would insult
the intelligence of an eleven year old give the writers, (Adam Sandler,
Judd Apatow, and SNL writer Robert Smigel) the framework to create a
movie that is incomprehensibly bad.
The movie begins with Zohan in his home country doing stupid $hit,
which is what he does pretty much for the entire movie. As the movie
scrapes along, you're pondering what the hell "Zohan" is even supposed
to be. "How does he have super powers?" "Is he a superhero?" "Why the
hell am I watching this?" "Why does Adam Sandler always have to play
the role of a super savvy cool-guy when the only reason anyone really
liked "Happy Gilmore", "Billy Madison", "Bulletproof", "The Wedding
Singer", "Big Daddy", "Little Nicky", or "Mr. Deeds" is because of his
supporting cast?" "Why can't Adam Sandler play a pedophile addicted to
methamphetamines who is married to a retarded homosexual and spends his
free time wiping his ass with an American Flag?" Veiled behind the
facade of a retarded accent, a stupid haircut, and a constant beating
of dick jokes, narrow minded cultural references, and pretty much
anything else that would annoy anyone with a shred of dignity, Zohan
expresses aspirations of becoming a hair stylist {in which he will make
people s' hair "silky smooth"(which he repeats at least SEVEN times
before the movie ends and you stop wishing to stick your head in an
oven for watching this hideous abomination), which is another stupid
idiosyncrasy of every single Adam Sandler movie in the past nine years,
which is including a "subtle" reference to one of his older movies,
which the writers apparently think is cute}. After a literal five
minute long homosexual joke, he moves to America.
Not long after his arrival,(in,...you guessed it... NEW YORK CITY!!!,
where every single movie ever made takes place) he finally achieves his
goal of becoming a hairstylist.
Nearly an hour into the movie, a bit of plot is finally revealed (the
time between had to be used as filler for Adam Sandler tea bagging at
least twenty different characters and further humiliating himself into
oblivion). Zohans' arch enemy, Palestinian terrorist leader Phantom
(John Turturro), reveals himself. Apparently, he is also a superhero
like Zohan. There are several scenes illogically strewn together
depicting Zohan doing some more stupid $hit and further cementing this
movie as being the most racist mainstream movie ever made that the
American public completely ignores because they're too dense to be able
to comprehend anything that isn't expressed explicitly. When there's
about a half hour left in the movie (I'm probably not correct on the
time frame because I was trying my hardest not to pay attention to the
movie for fear that the movie would have pulled me into the depths of
insanity, so try to bare with it), Zohan enlists the help of socialite
millionaires to aid him in his battle against Phantom. Among these
people is Michael Buffer, the famous boxing announcer. I'm still in awe
of the throngs of people who were dragged screaming into this fiasco.
But I'm still frustrated because of the relentless cameos. Seriously,
it is not necessary in any movie.
I know that I'm skipping around the plot a bit, but I am trying not to
think too much about this movie.
At the end of the movie, the Palestinians led by Phantom and the
Israelis led by Zohan have an ultra explosion-filled showdown in the
streets of New York as the result of some idiotic subplot regarding Rob
Schneiders'affinity for his goat (because every single person who lives
in the middle east who isn't a terrorist is a goat farmer), some other
retarded subplot, and some other retarded subplot. The movie
predictably ends with each group realizing their differences and
learning to love each other. There. I spoiled the entire movie for you
because it really doesn't matter.
In the midst of all of the racism, sexism, xenophobia, and pretty much
every other idiotic antisocial American sentiment that entrenched this
travesty of a film, there is one notion for me that resides over all
others. It is the fact that the creators of this movie actually thought
that they were making a good movie. To me that is mind boggling.
Overall, I give this movie a 2 out of 10 because there were a total of
three times when I chuckled at the movie. It's a pretty bad ratio
because the movie has to have the record of most attempts at trying to
make its audience laugh. However, it was agonizing to watch, so I'll
give it a 1 out of spite.
60 out of 108 people found the following comment useful :- I haven't laughed this hard in quite a long time...., 9 June 2008
Author:
Troy (Troy2Slick) from Toronto, Ontario
The critics are out in full force and tearing this movie a new one. I
can understand some of the criticism, it's a brainless comedy chop full
of cliché jokes, stereotypes, crude toilet humor, so it's to be
expected that it's going to receive a lot of negativity.
With that said, that's exactly why I loved this movie so much. I'm a
movie buff, have over 2,000 DVDs in my collection. I love virtually
every movie genre there is. So, I knew full well what I was getting
myself into before I paid my ten dollars and a Coke the size of Zohan's
crotch.
What I loved about this movie so much, was that the jokes never stopped
coming. I've watched all of Sandlers movies, many of them have long
breaks of nothing much to get in stitches about. Sandler is the type of
actor that I look to for this sort of humor. When you're having a bad
day and want to watch a brainless, popcorn flick that will most likely
have you cracking up virtually the entire movie, then I suggest you see
this movie as soon as possible.
This is another reason why I love Sandler so much. He's not afraid to
push the envelope to garner a laugh. He knows he's capable of doing a
more serious role and have success. I know how good he was in
Punch-Drunk Love and Reign Over Me, but he's very versatile and I can't
complain about an actor with that quality.
I gave this a 7 out of 10, I'm not afraid to admit that I liked the
Zohan.., and I certainly wouldn't mess with him!
144 out of 279 people found the following comment useful :- Sandler Sandler Sandler, 23 May 2008
Author:
KDeRuy from United States
While it has some funny moments. It has a lot less.
It's one of those movies that would have been great in 1998. But falls
short in 2008. Its just the same gimmick that has been done by 'Happy
Madison Productions'.
Reminds me of: Chuck and Larry, Strange Wilderness, The Benchwarmers,
Dickie Roberts, 50 first dates, Etc.
It's just well.....for lack of a better word. Stupid. It might have you
grabbing your sides in 98', but when you watch it, its somewhat like,
"OK, let me guess, Rob Schneider is going to pop up and say something
dumb with a 'pause for laughter' moment?" Yup.
Is Sandler going to do a stupid voice the whole movie and end on a
'touching theme'?. Yup.
Acting is good, I will give it that. However, if you have seen any Adam
Sandler movie, then you won't be surprised with his acting choices.
Same choices, different accent.
Nothing against Sandler, his movies were great.......in 98'
I'd wait for DVD,...if that.
28 out of 48 people found the following comment useful :- Unfunny and Too Long, 8 June 2008
Author:
kris_michael from United States
*** This comment may contain spoilers ***
Let me just say, I am a big Adam Sandler fan. I love and find most of
his movies funny. This one was not. The jokes were lame, and way too
crude for a pg-13 rating. I just kept thinking my daughter was watching
this two seats away, and I felt uncomfortable with the many reverences
to sex. It lasted two hours but didn't have two hours of comedy
material. It felt preachy about tried to teach tolerance when it came
to people from the middle east but came off unbelievably stupid. I find
it strange how great comedy writers like Adam Sandler and Judd Apatow
could produce such a piece of crap! I wouldn't waste your time on this
one. Or wait till it hits H.B.O.
78 out of 151 people found the following comment useful :- Hey, it's Sony guts You Don't Mess with the Zohan, 3 June 2008
Author:
babubhaut from buffalo, ny, usa
What has happened to Adam Sandler? Billy Madison is one of my all-time
favorite comedies, the romance-inclined Wedding Singer is fantastic,
and his forays into serious farePunch-Drunk Love and Reign Over
Mehave shown the talent hidden beneath the 5-year old trapped in a
40-year old body routine. As far as his production company's new work
goes, in my opinion, a lot is left to be desired. Sadly, You Don't Mess
with the Zohan does nothing to alleviate those feelings. Yes the
trailer looked absolutely horrible, but I still held hope that
something would click and give me an enjoyable experience once again.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely laughed throughout, it's just that
those laughs were more out of embarrassment for those on screen and
because if I didn't chuckle at the asinine events, I would have needed
to walk out from boredom. It appears that the Judd Apatow name means
zilch when attached to a film he does not deem important enough to
direct himself. This one is marginally better than Walk Hard, his last
script helper, but not by much.
The concept at hand has some potential. With an utterly preposterous
sub-plot involving Sandler's Israeli Mossad agent faking his death in a
fight with the leading Palestinean terrorist in the Middle East so that
he can come to America and live his dream of being a hairstylist, you
won't be thinking anything will be learned by watching. However, there
are some moments that shed some criticism to the fight in the Middle
East over land and religion as well as bringing up issues of compromise
and acceptance for success in the US. As one Israeli says, he has just
as hard a time fitting in as the Arabs because Americans confuse him as
one. These two sides look similar, speak similar, and hold a large
amount of national pride, containing a lot more in common than the war
would like to admit. Leave it to Sandler and company to lambaste these
moments with absurdity and broad humor, sending up the issue while also
shining light on it although in a very dumbed down manner. Would I have
liked more of this and less sexual innuendo? I don't really think it
would have helped any.
Right from the start we are shown what to expectphysical humor, sight
gags, and obnoxiously drawn out sequences that start out funny yet
finally fall flat. If the craziness leaves any mark it's the fact that
Sandler got in pretty good shape for this role. Did he do so because of
the script, or did he write it all to show off? Unnecessarily
gratuitous shots of his backside, complete with fish and hacky sacks
finding their way there, only made me hope that some real comedy was
coming soon. Instead what we get is an abundance of Hummus, horrible
fake accents (I need to believe these were purposely bad, especially
Chris Rock's), and as many allusions to Sandler's Scrappy Coco
satisfying the elderly clientele he cuts hair for as possible. There
are some surprises, such as the truth to what is in his shorts as well
as the plethora of cameos straight from left field (Dave Matthews?!),
but for the most part, it is a completely obvious string of random
events tied together with a thin plot line that really is secondary to
the set-pieces and toilet humor.
While the sex jokes got old really fasthow many times can he hump the
women and spray water suggestively before our smiles turn to yawnsthe
ethnic ones had a bit more life. Hummus as a universal food aside, I
did find the random disco moments and Mariah Carey t-shirts humorous
for the most part and the faulty Hezbollah phone line is priceless. Rob
Schneider and John Turturro are over-the-top hams as always, actually a
positive thing, never taking the roles seriously. Even Sandler, for
what it's worth, plays the part well. The racial stereotypes definitely
trump anything on display throughout; the writers involved holding
nothing back and having no shame at all. And Emmanuelle Chriqui is
absolutely gorgeous and likable, playing a similar role to her part on
"Entourage," with the addition of a bad accent.
After all the headshaking and prayers for the film to either get better
or just end, it is the supporting cast that leaves the only real
indelible mark. The surprise cameos are just too many to mention and
for the most part successful across the board. While the Zohan is a
one-note joke beaten to death, those surrounding him attempt to infuse
a little variety. Unfortunately the final result reminds me more of a
recent Saturday Night Live skit, containing a funny premise and then
killing it by not knowing when to stop while ahead. Even after seeing
the foot fight in the trailers, the actual scene was still pretty
hilarious. But what do the filmmakers do? Oh yes, they use the gimmick
a few more times, including a sad, extended sequence in a fight scene
at the end concerning new shoes, squeezing any laughter that might have
still remained out way too early.
5 out of 6 people found the following comment useful :- A great chuckle, 25 June 2008
Author:
ozmosis2323 from Australia
*** This comment may contain spoilers ***
Adam Sandler somehow succeeds in bring us another hilarious comedy. I
confess his humour in this film is a bit crude and outrageously yucky
but still its was very funny and the whole audience was drawn into the
silly humour and had a great belly laugh.
Adam plays a disillusioned but much loved Israeli Mossad Hero Zohan who
secretly harbours a desire to be a great fashion hairdresser. The
israeli government sends him on a mission to "take out" his arch rival
Palestinian terrorist "The Phantom" played by John Turturro. After
scenes of barbecue fish grilling with special buttock serving
acrobatics Zohan throws himself into battle with the Phantom.
Zohan uses this battle to fake his own death and smuggles himself to
New York. The phantom becomes a cult hero in Palestine and opens a
"Falafel" franchise of takeaway stores.
Zohan quickly discovers that his early eighties Hair styling and body
politic is making him the object of ridicule. His adulating Israeli
friends who all work in the traditional American role as Cheap
electronics retailing try to assist Zohan achieve his dreams.
They get him a job as an assistant hairdresser in a salon run by a
beautiful Palestinian women. The Phantom discovers Zohan is still alive
and well in New York and the final showdown is set.
A wonderful satire about the tragic Middle Eastern conflict that
reveals what is often very true that Israelis and Palestinians often
have so much in common when they desert the Middle Eastern horrors when
finding a new life in America.
I think that the film has a positive message for older women disguised
in Zohan's fetishes that are revealed in his struggle to become a great
stylist.
The Humus and humour gush freely in this schmaltzy little Jewish
flavoured film and its worth seeing.
I am not a great fan of Sandler but he is slowly winning me over with
his silly humour and memorable films.
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You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)
64 out of 90 people found the following comment useful :-

Turn Off Your Brain, 10 June 2008
Author: newfnshow616 from United States
I walked into the theater with my brain shut off. And if you enjoy Adam Sandler, you have to. If you go by typical standards, all of Adam Sandler's movies are absolute garbage. But yet people still love them, I am one of them.
I went into this looking to have fun watching a movie, and I did. Yes, it was ridiculous in every possible way, but it was pretty much exactly what I was paying to see, Adam Sandler's sense of humor running rampant with all of his friends holding down bit parts.
If you are looking for a high quality, well thought-out story with twists and turns and an ending that ties it all together and leaves you walking out of the theater satisfied, look elsewhere.
But if you aren't easily offended and are a fan of Adam Sandler's work, then you'll have fun with the silky smooth goodness that Zohan brings to the table.
165 out of 305 people found the following comment useful :-

Hair Pollution, 28 May 2008
Author: southsider2000 from Canada
*** This comment may contain spoilers ***
You know, sometimes I just don't understand what the heck is going through Adam Sandler's head. He's a funny guy with natural charisma and, I would guess, a reasonable level of intelligence. So why does he feel compelled to write and produce films of such appallingly low quality? It worked with his initial efforts, Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore. Those two films defied any sense of logical criticism. They were sloppy, yet contained a maniacal sense of anarchic glee. He seemed thrilled at what he was getting away with. Yet, since the release of those films over a decade ago, he has continued to crank out by-the-numbers mediocrity that lacks any feeling of comic discovery.
It is my unfortunate duty now to inform you that his latest, You Don't Mess With The Zohan, is by far his most wretchedly awful film to date. Sandler's character this time, a Mossad agent who dreams of being a hairdresser, would probably fill a lame Saturday Night Live skit, but stretched to over 100 minutes is akin to Chinese water torture.
Zohan isn't any normal secret agent; he's a walking caricature of crass Middle Eastern stereotypes and snickering vulgarity. With a Wham!-inspired haircut and a penchant for shtupping elderly women, he finds employment at a small salon run by the sweet, yet blank, Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui), a Palestinian woman with no patience for Zohan's sexism. As can be predicted, despite their antagonistic relationship, they soon are yearning to "make the bam-boom". Their insipid love story intermingles with a laugh-free subplot featuring Zohan's nemesis the Phantom (John Turturro) and a hapless Arab cab-driver (Rob Schneider, ladies and gentlemen...) ineptly planning murder attempts.
Now, racial stereotyping and crude humor can be used to great comic effect in the proper hands. The makers of Borat toed the line brilliantly, delivering great vulgar hilarity mixed with social commentary. You Don't Mess With The Zohan is not even in the same time zone, much less ballpark. The film is amazingly hostile and mean-spirited, mocking its targets with unfiltered scorn for the majority of the running time, yet tacking on a "we're all the same" message at the end. It's like the school-yard bully who beats the snot out of you all semester but wishes you a good summer at when vacation time rolls around. Why did no one involved in this debacle pull Sandler aside and gently suggest that this material was unfilmable? Also concerning is the amount of animal abuse presented for cheap laughs. There is a particularly soul-killing scene featuring Zohan and two friends playing hacky-sack with a cat. Now, a good writer would use this undeniably objectionable act as a springboard to a larger pay-off. That would redeem the bad taste and warrant the scene's inclusion. Not here however, where the only apparent joke is that a trio of grown men are kicking the stuffing out of a helpless animal.
What is almost fascinating about Zohan is how little interest the screen-writers have in their own story. New story lines are launched at random to replace the ones running out of gas. I couldn't believe that the introduction of an evil land-developer to the film occurred near the end of the second act. It would seem that writers' Sandler, Judd Apatow, and Robert Smigel knew that their material was limited and hoped that by padding it liberally, no one would notice. Hence, the heavy helping of crotch close-ups, homophobia, hummus jokes, and dry humping present. As well, the endless cameos come off as desperate and pointless, although it is amusing that Mariah Carey has finally found a fitting companion piece for Glitter.
To call You Don't Mess With The Zohan a misfire is a grand understatement. It's a dreary trudge through migraine-inducing territory that is all the more unforgivable considering the level of talent involved. There's an old adage that it takes true skill and artistry to create a truly horrific film, as hacks will only produce bland mediocrity. Well, Zohan is a colossal achievement, a film that will receive endless mentions on "Worst of 2008" lists, and the rants of legions of angry ticket-buyers. With that said though, Sandler may have inadvertently found a point of agreement for Israelis and Palestinians. I think that both sides would agree that You Don't Mess With The Zohan flat-out SUCKS!
57 out of 90 people found the following comment useful :-

Uneven, but funny, 7 June 2008
Author: wolverinesforever from United States
Look folks, this is ADAM SANDLER we're talking about here. Yes, this is the same stuff that he was doing ten years ago with "The Waterboy." Yes, this is the same company that brought us "Happy Gilmore" and "Click." And yes, while I have aged a bit since I could appreciate the his silliness, there is still a part of me that enjoys the goofy fun that Adam Sandler likes to put on screen. I knew very well coming in to the 7:45 showing of "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" that this was going to be crazy. And sure enough, it was. But you know what, I liked it, my friend liked it, quite a few people in the audience liked it, it was a good time had.
Adam Sandler loves to put himself in ridiculous situations. In "Gilmore," he was a hockey nut with a hidden talent for golf. In "Mr. Deeds," he became a billionaire overnight. This guy has played football (twice), gone on fifty first dates, paused and sped up his life, and married Kevin James. Now, he's an Isreali counter-terrorist with a fetish for cutting hair. Oh, and he loves making sexual remarks as much as Borat does. Sound familiar? Thought it did.
So how does the humor compare to previous Sandler features? Well, it's unfocused. Part of the problem is that three writers with different mentalities are writing the script. The silliness comes from Sandler, the raunchy stuff comes from Apatow, and everything else comes from Smigel. Although I found myself laughing at quite a few parts (particularly when the Zohan was on the job as a soldier), there were also a lot of parts where I was thinking to myself "Come on. Another shot of the crotch?" (Or butt, or some other sexual reference) All of these various ingredients have been thrown in together, and the end result is, let's face it, uneven.
But though the movie may have lacked focus, I couldn't help but have fun with it. You see, unlike "Mr. Deeds" (which I found boring and lame), this film goes whole hog. Sandler and the cast surrounding him do almost everything in their power to make a joke out of something. These guys aren't sleepwalking through their roles, to the contrary, they're having a great time putting on a show. It's contagious. About halfway through the movie, I began to realize the reason I was having fun with the "Zohan" was because this movie essentially gives out an open invitation to enjoy the silliness that was being presented. By the end of the movie, Sandler had done the most outrageous acts I had seen him do since "Happy Gilmore." And frankly, I think I prefer Sandler when he just tries everything.
Fans of Sandler will most likely enjoy this one, non-fans should pass. For what it's worth, "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" is a good continuation of the act Sandler has put on for us for over a decade now. Worth a Saturday matinée.
78 out of 136 people found the following comment useful :-

Not as bad as everyone says., 8 June 2008
Author: Michael M. from United States
While I've never been a -huge- fan of Adam Sandler's films, I have watched them and laughed throughout most of them. I'm the type of guy who enjoys some slapstick, some raunchy humor, and a lot of zanyness.
I went into Zohan not expecting anything but pure frivolous humor. You don't go into films like this with any expectations, and I think that's where a lot of the reviewers prior to myself went wrong. They went in expecting to see an evolution of Sandler's humor, and while I would say that Zohan raised the bar a tad, it's still Adam Sandler. Yes, it's going to have a corny ending, a lot of physical humor, and a healthy dose of humor aimed at the more intelligent in the crowd as well.
Overall, I couldn't stop giggling, laughing, and chuckling throughout most of the film. After a long streak of not seeing any humor films, I thought it was the perfect thing to bring me back to comedies. The last few years, especially, have been incredibly lackluster in regards to comedies (if that's what evolution of the genre is, count me out, by the way), and I found Zohan refreshing.
I think another thing a lot of the other reviewers missed, is that the film in no way expected to take itself seriously. The only serious moments were cheesy, predictable, and ultimately corny, which is irony in itself and only contributed to my bemused chuckling. Yes, a lot of the humor bordered on racial stereotyping, there were a lot of over-the-top accents and allusions to the Middle East, so if you're the type to get touchy about that, feel free to skip. I found it to be a rather hilarious joke on the seriousness that everybody applies to the stereotyping. The stereotyping is, actually, rather fair and towards the end even shows plenty of "good stereotyping" (as accurate as stereotyping ever is, which is to say, rarely).
Really, the film laughs at itself. Are there some bum moments? Certainly, but it seems that's been the case for almost every film I've seen in the last few years, but it was grand seeing the cast and crew not try to make this the 'next great comedy' and just have a buttload of fun.
And if the cast and crew are laughing at themselves (which you can clearly feel through the screen), you can't help but laugh with them.
If you want to spend an hour or two snickering and have an open mind, give Zohan a shot. Don't expect an evolution of comedy. Don't expect the bar to be raised, because that's not what this film was trying to do. It was trying to be ridiculous and make people utter that ever so fantastic groaning-giggle followed by the heart chuckle.
Don't let the other critics fool you, they've probably forgotten the meaning of the word 'satire'.
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Among the bottom of the barrel., 8 June 2008
Author: spirit_of_truth2000 from United States
*** This comment may contain spoilers ***
"You Don't Mess With the Zohan" is the newest regurgitated $hitfest unleashed upon us by the brilliant minds of comedian Adam Sandler and director Dennis Dugan. The movie chronicles the absurd, zany story of Zohan Dvir, a ridiculously offensive special agent of an Isralei counter-terrorism organization known as the "Mossad". His extraordinarily stupid fake accent and personality that would insult the intelligence of an eleven year old give the writers, (Adam Sandler, Judd Apatow, and SNL writer Robert Smigel) the framework to create a movie that is incomprehensibly bad.
The movie begins with Zohan in his home country doing stupid $hit, which is what he does pretty much for the entire movie. As the movie scrapes along, you're pondering what the hell "Zohan" is even supposed to be. "How does he have super powers?" "Is he a superhero?" "Why the hell am I watching this?" "Why does Adam Sandler always have to play the role of a super savvy cool-guy when the only reason anyone really liked "Happy Gilmore", "Billy Madison", "Bulletproof", "The Wedding Singer", "Big Daddy", "Little Nicky", or "Mr. Deeds" is because of his supporting cast?" "Why can't Adam Sandler play a pedophile addicted to methamphetamines who is married to a retarded homosexual and spends his free time wiping his ass with an American Flag?" Veiled behind the facade of a retarded accent, a stupid haircut, and a constant beating of dick jokes, narrow minded cultural references, and pretty much anything else that would annoy anyone with a shred of dignity, Zohan expresses aspirations of becoming a hair stylist {in which he will make people s' hair "silky smooth"(which he repeats at least SEVEN times before the movie ends and you stop wishing to stick your head in an oven for watching this hideous abomination), which is another stupid idiosyncrasy of every single Adam Sandler movie in the past nine years, which is including a "subtle" reference to one of his older movies, which the writers apparently think is cute}. After a literal five minute long homosexual joke, he moves to America.
Not long after his arrival,(in,...you guessed it... NEW YORK CITY!!!, where every single movie ever made takes place) he finally achieves his goal of becoming a hairstylist.
Nearly an hour into the movie, a bit of plot is finally revealed (the time between had to be used as filler for Adam Sandler tea bagging at least twenty different characters and further humiliating himself into oblivion). Zohans' arch enemy, Palestinian terrorist leader Phantom (John Turturro), reveals himself. Apparently, he is also a superhero like Zohan. There are several scenes illogically strewn together depicting Zohan doing some more stupid $hit and further cementing this movie as being the most racist mainstream movie ever made that the American public completely ignores because they're too dense to be able to comprehend anything that isn't expressed explicitly. When there's about a half hour left in the movie (I'm probably not correct on the time frame because I was trying my hardest not to pay attention to the movie for fear that the movie would have pulled me into the depths of insanity, so try to bare with it), Zohan enlists the help of socialite millionaires to aid him in his battle against Phantom. Among these people is Michael Buffer, the famous boxing announcer. I'm still in awe of the throngs of people who were dragged screaming into this fiasco. But I'm still frustrated because of the relentless cameos. Seriously, it is not necessary in any movie.
I know that I'm skipping around the plot a bit, but I am trying not to think too much about this movie.
At the end of the movie, the Palestinians led by Phantom and the Israelis led by Zohan have an ultra explosion-filled showdown in the streets of New York as the result of some idiotic subplot regarding Rob Schneiders'affinity for his goat (because every single person who lives in the middle east who isn't a terrorist is a goat farmer), some other retarded subplot, and some other retarded subplot. The movie predictably ends with each group realizing their differences and learning to love each other. There. I spoiled the entire movie for you because it really doesn't matter.
In the midst of all of the racism, sexism, xenophobia, and pretty much every other idiotic antisocial American sentiment that entrenched this travesty of a film, there is one notion for me that resides over all others. It is the fact that the creators of this movie actually thought that they were making a good movie. To me that is mind boggling.
Overall, I give this movie a 2 out of 10 because there were a total of three times when I chuckled at the movie. It's a pretty bad ratio because the movie has to have the record of most attempts at trying to make its audience laugh. However, it was agonizing to watch, so I'll give it a 1 out of spite.
60 out of 108 people found the following comment useful :-

I haven't laughed this hard in quite a long time...., 9 June 2008
Author: Troy (Troy2Slick) from Toronto, Ontario
The critics are out in full force and tearing this movie a new one. I can understand some of the criticism, it's a brainless comedy chop full of cliché jokes, stereotypes, crude toilet humor, so it's to be expected that it's going to receive a lot of negativity.
With that said, that's exactly why I loved this movie so much. I'm a movie buff, have over 2,000 DVDs in my collection. I love virtually every movie genre there is. So, I knew full well what I was getting myself into before I paid my ten dollars and a Coke the size of Zohan's crotch.
What I loved about this movie so much, was that the jokes never stopped coming. I've watched all of Sandlers movies, many of them have long breaks of nothing much to get in stitches about. Sandler is the type of actor that I look to for this sort of humor. When you're having a bad day and want to watch a brainless, popcorn flick that will most likely have you cracking up virtually the entire movie, then I suggest you see this movie as soon as possible.
This is another reason why I love Sandler so much. He's not afraid to push the envelope to garner a laugh. He knows he's capable of doing a more serious role and have success. I know how good he was in Punch-Drunk Love and Reign Over Me, but he's very versatile and I can't complain about an actor with that quality.
I gave this a 7 out of 10, I'm not afraid to admit that I liked the Zohan.., and I certainly wouldn't mess with him!
144 out of 279 people found the following comment useful :-

Sandler Sandler Sandler, 23 May 2008
Author: KDeRuy from United States
While it has some funny moments. It has a lot less.
It's one of those movies that would have been great in 1998. But falls short in 2008. Its just the same gimmick that has been done by 'Happy Madison Productions'.
Reminds me of: Chuck and Larry, Strange Wilderness, The Benchwarmers, Dickie Roberts, 50 first dates, Etc.
It's just well.....for lack of a better word. Stupid. It might have you grabbing your sides in 98', but when you watch it, its somewhat like, "OK, let me guess, Rob Schneider is going to pop up and say something dumb with a 'pause for laughter' moment?" Yup.
Is Sandler going to do a stupid voice the whole movie and end on a 'touching theme'?. Yup.
Acting is good, I will give it that. However, if you have seen any Adam Sandler movie, then you won't be surprised with his acting choices. Same choices, different accent.
Nothing against Sandler, his movies were great.......in 98'
I'd wait for DVD,...if that.
28 out of 48 people found the following comment useful :-

Unfunny and Too Long, 8 June 2008
Author: kris_michael from United States
*** This comment may contain spoilers ***
Let me just say, I am a big Adam Sandler fan. I love and find most of his movies funny. This one was not. The jokes were lame, and way too crude for a pg-13 rating. I just kept thinking my daughter was watching this two seats away, and I felt uncomfortable with the many reverences to sex. It lasted two hours but didn't have two hours of comedy material. It felt preachy about tried to teach tolerance when it came to people from the middle east but came off unbelievably stupid. I find it strange how great comedy writers like Adam Sandler and Judd Apatow could produce such a piece of crap! I wouldn't waste your time on this one. Or wait till it hits H.B.O.
78 out of 151 people found the following comment useful :-

Hey, it's Sony guts You Don't Mess with the Zohan, 3 June 2008
Author: babubhaut from buffalo, ny, usa
What has happened to Adam Sandler? Billy Madison is one of my all-time favorite comedies, the romance-inclined Wedding Singer is fantastic, and his forays into serious farePunch-Drunk Love and Reign Over Mehave shown the talent hidden beneath the 5-year old trapped in a 40-year old body routine. As far as his production company's new work goes, in my opinion, a lot is left to be desired. Sadly, You Don't Mess with the Zohan does nothing to alleviate those feelings. Yes the trailer looked absolutely horrible, but I still held hope that something would click and give me an enjoyable experience once again. Don't get me wrong, I definitely laughed throughout, it's just that those laughs were more out of embarrassment for those on screen and because if I didn't chuckle at the asinine events, I would have needed to walk out from boredom. It appears that the Judd Apatow name means zilch when attached to a film he does not deem important enough to direct himself. This one is marginally better than Walk Hard, his last script helper, but not by much.
The concept at hand has some potential. With an utterly preposterous sub-plot involving Sandler's Israeli Mossad agent faking his death in a fight with the leading Palestinean terrorist in the Middle East so that he can come to America and live his dream of being a hairstylist, you won't be thinking anything will be learned by watching. However, there are some moments that shed some criticism to the fight in the Middle East over land and religion as well as bringing up issues of compromise and acceptance for success in the US. As one Israeli says, he has just as hard a time fitting in as the Arabs because Americans confuse him as one. These two sides look similar, speak similar, and hold a large amount of national pride, containing a lot more in common than the war would like to admit. Leave it to Sandler and company to lambaste these moments with absurdity and broad humor, sending up the issue while also shining light on it although in a very dumbed down manner. Would I have liked more of this and less sexual innuendo? I don't really think it would have helped any.
Right from the start we are shown what to expectphysical humor, sight gags, and obnoxiously drawn out sequences that start out funny yet finally fall flat. If the craziness leaves any mark it's the fact that Sandler got in pretty good shape for this role. Did he do so because of the script, or did he write it all to show off? Unnecessarily gratuitous shots of his backside, complete with fish and hacky sacks finding their way there, only made me hope that some real comedy was coming soon. Instead what we get is an abundance of Hummus, horrible fake accents (I need to believe these were purposely bad, especially Chris Rock's), and as many allusions to Sandler's Scrappy Coco satisfying the elderly clientele he cuts hair for as possible. There are some surprises, such as the truth to what is in his shorts as well as the plethora of cameos straight from left field (Dave Matthews?!), but for the most part, it is a completely obvious string of random events tied together with a thin plot line that really is secondary to the set-pieces and toilet humor.
While the sex jokes got old really fasthow many times can he hump the women and spray water suggestively before our smiles turn to yawnsthe ethnic ones had a bit more life. Hummus as a universal food aside, I did find the random disco moments and Mariah Carey t-shirts humorous for the most part and the faulty Hezbollah phone line is priceless. Rob Schneider and John Turturro are over-the-top hams as always, actually a positive thing, never taking the roles seriously. Even Sandler, for what it's worth, plays the part well. The racial stereotypes definitely trump anything on display throughout; the writers involved holding nothing back and having no shame at all. And Emmanuelle Chriqui is absolutely gorgeous and likable, playing a similar role to her part on "Entourage," with the addition of a bad accent.
After all the headshaking and prayers for the film to either get better or just end, it is the supporting cast that leaves the only real indelible mark. The surprise cameos are just too many to mention and for the most part successful across the board. While the Zohan is a one-note joke beaten to death, those surrounding him attempt to infuse a little variety. Unfortunately the final result reminds me more of a recent Saturday Night Live skit, containing a funny premise and then killing it by not knowing when to stop while ahead. Even after seeing the foot fight in the trailers, the actual scene was still pretty hilarious. But what do the filmmakers do? Oh yes, they use the gimmick a few more times, including a sad, extended sequence in a fight scene at the end concerning new shoes, squeezing any laughter that might have still remained out way too early.
5 out of 6 people found the following comment useful :-

A great chuckle, 25 June 2008
Author: ozmosis2323 from Australia
*** This comment may contain spoilers ***
Adam Sandler somehow succeeds in bring us another hilarious comedy. I confess his humour in this film is a bit crude and outrageously yucky but still its was very funny and the whole audience was drawn into the silly humour and had a great belly laugh.
Adam plays a disillusioned but much loved Israeli Mossad Hero Zohan who secretly harbours a desire to be a great fashion hairdresser. The israeli government sends him on a mission to "take out" his arch rival Palestinian terrorist "The Phantom" played by John Turturro. After scenes of barbecue fish grilling with special buttock serving acrobatics Zohan throws himself into battle with the Phantom.
Zohan uses this battle to fake his own death and smuggles himself to New York. The phantom becomes a cult hero in Palestine and opens a "Falafel" franchise of takeaway stores.
Zohan quickly discovers that his early eighties Hair styling and body politic is making him the object of ridicule. His adulating Israeli friends who all work in the traditional American role as Cheap electronics retailing try to assist Zohan achieve his dreams.
They get him a job as an assistant hairdresser in a salon run by a beautiful Palestinian women. The Phantom discovers Zohan is still alive and well in New York and the final showdown is set.
A wonderful satire about the tragic Middle Eastern conflict that reveals what is often very true that Israelis and Palestinians often have so much in common when they desert the Middle Eastern horrors when finding a new life in America.
I think that the film has a positive message for older women disguised in Zohan's fetishes that are revealed in his struggle to become a great stylist.
The Humus and humour gush freely in this schmaltzy little Jewish flavoured film and its worth seeing.
I am not a great fan of Sandler but he is slowly winning me over with his silly humour and memorable films.
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