Memorable quotes for
"Fawlty Towers"
The Germans (1975)

Basil Fawlty: [to a nurse] Don't touch me! I don't know where you've been!

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Basil Fawlty: Is something wrong?
German Guest: Will you please stop talking about the war?
Basil Fawlty: Me? You started it.
German Guest: We did not!
Basil Fawlty: Yes, you did, you invaded Poland.

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[Basil has suffered a blow to the head and is in the hospital]
Basil Fawlty: [to nurse] My God, you're ugly, aren't you?
Sister: I'll... I'll get the doctor.
Basil Fawlty: It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor.

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Basil Fawlty: Don't mention the war! I only mentioned it once but I think I got away with it.

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Basil Fawlty: Welcome to Fawlty Towers and I would like to welcome you war, you war, YOU ALL and I hope your stay will be a happy one.

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Basil Fawlty: I will take your orders,
[German accent]
Basil Fawlty: which must be obeyed at all times,
[Normal accent]
Basil Fawlty: , I mean, er... trespassers will be strung up with piano wire, SORRY! SORRY!

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Basil Fawlty: Would you like to have something to drink before the war? Before your lunch?

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German Guest: However did they win?

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