"Two and a Half Men" (2003)

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Episodes Rated by Date

Rated Episodes

#	Episode	User Rating	User Votes
1.0	Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot	8.6	33
1.1	Pilot	8.0	77
1.2	Big Flappy Bastards	7.2	45
1.3	Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell	7.0	49
1.4	If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap	7.2	52
1.5	The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up with a Hump	7.1	42
1.6	Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?	6.8	45
1.7	If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake	7.6	49
1.8	Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful	7.0	38
1.9	Phase One, Complete	7.1	39
1.10	Merry Thanksgiving	7.3	54
1.11	Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor	6.5	35
1.12	Camel Filters and Pheremones	7.8	109
1.13	Sara Like Puny Alan	6.9	36
1.14	I Can't Afford Hyenas	6.9	39
1.15	Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick	6.7	44
1.16	That Was Saliva, Alan	6.9	41
1.17	Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats	7.2	32
1.18	An Old Flame with a New Wick	6.9	48
1.19	I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You	7.1	50
1.20	Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark	6.5	35
1.21	No Sniffing, No Wowing	7.4	43
1.22	My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet	7.1	37
1.23	Just Like Buffalo	7.5	42
1.24	Can You Feel My Finger	7.4	39
2.1	Back Off Mary Poppins	6.9	71
2.2	Enjoy Those Garlic Balls	6.9	43
2.3	A Bag Full of Jawea	7.4	45
2.4	Go Get Mommy's Bra	6.9	34
2.5	Bad News from the Clinic	7.1	45
2.6	The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance	7.3	37
2.7	A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana	6.3	30
2.8	Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers	7.1	31
2.9	Yes, Monsignor	7.1	41
2.10	The Salmon Under My Sweater	7.5	37
2.11	Last Chance to See Those Tattoos	7.0	39
2.12	A Lung Full of Alan	7.1	39
2.13	Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow	7.4	34
2.14	Those Big Pink Things with Coconut	7.0	29
2.15	Smell the Umbrella Stand	6.9	26
2.16	Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?	7.3	31
2.17	Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!	7.5	42
2.18	It Was Mame, Mom	6.7	45
2.19	A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise	6.8	29
2.20	I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey	6.9	39
2.21	A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On	6.9	28
2.22	That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother	6.9	26
2.23	Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab	7.6	54
2.24	Does Something Smell Funny to You	7.2	38
3.1	Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts	7.0	29
3.2	Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover	7.0	32
3.3	Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark	7.4	31
3.4	Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs	7.2	30
3.5	We Called It Mr. Pinky	7.2	29
3.6	Hi, Mr. Horned One	7.6	43
3.7	Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop	7.6	46
3.8	That Voodoo That I Do Do	7.5	37
3.9	Madame and Her Special Friend	7.4	36
3.10	Something Salted and Twisted	7.1	24
3.11	Santa's Village of the Damned	7.3	42
3.12	That Special Tug	7.8	36
3.13	Humiliation Is a Visual Medium	6.8	32
3.14	Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded	7.5	36
3.15	My Tongue Is Meat	7.1	32
3.16	Ergo, the Booty Call	7.6	41
3.17	The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer	7.4	31
3.18	The Spit-Covered Cobbler	6.8	27
3.19	Golly Moses, She's a Muffin	6.8	32
3.20	Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro	7.0	45
3.21	And the Plot Moistens	6.7	39
3.22	Just Once with Aunt Sophie	6.7	31
3.23	Arguments for the Quickie	6.8	39
3.24	That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite	7.4	47
4.1	Working for Caligula	7.0	48
4.2	Who's Vod Kanockers	7.1	45
4.3	The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress	6.9	40
4.4	A Pot Smoking Monkey	6.6	37
4.5	A Live Woman of Proven Fertility	6.8	51
4.6	Apologies for the Frivolity	7.6	54
4.7	Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head	7.2	35
4.8	Release the Dogs	6.9	36
4.9	Corey's Been Dead for an Hour	6.5	39
4.10	Kissing Abraham Lincoln	7.0	34
4.11	Walnuts and Demerol	7.7	46
4.12	Castrating Sheep in Montana	6.4	32
4.13	Don't Worry, Speed Racer	7.1	44
4.14	That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami	6.7	37
4.15	My Damn Stalker	7.5	54
4.16	Young People Have Phlegm Too	6.9	40
4.17	I Merely Slept with a Commie	7.2	38
4.18	It Never Rains in Hooterville	7.0	43
4.19	Smooth as a Ken Doll	7.4	49
4.20	Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot	6.8	44
4.21	Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous	6.8	36
4.22	Mr. McGlue's Feedbag	6.7	33
4.23	Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin	7.5	48
4.24	Prostitutes and Gelato	7.7	42
5.1	Large Birds, Spiders and Mom	7.4	35
5.2	Media Room Slash Dungeon	6.9	27
5.3	Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo	7.5	22
5.4	City of Great Racks	7.4	21
5.5	Putting Swim Fins on a Cat	7.5	20
5.6	Help Daddy Find His Toenail	7.5	25
5.7	The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room	7.3	22
5.8	Is There a Mrs. Waffles?	7.7	27
5.9	Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids	7.0	24
5.10	Kinda Like Necrophilia	7.6	35
5.11	Meander to Your Dander	7.3	25
5.12	A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh	7.9	21
5.13	The Soil is Moist	7.6	24
5.14	Winky-Dink Time	7.1	27
5.15	Rough Night in Hump Junction	7.5	24
5.16	Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty	7.7	23
5.17	Fish in a Drawer	7.7	55
5.18	If My Hole Could Talk	6.7	22
5.19	Waiting for the Right Snapper	6.9	18
-	Jake Comes of Age	7.5	37

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"Two and a Half Men" (2003)

Episodes Rated by Date

Rated Episodes