Memorable quotes for
Problem Child 2 (1991) More at IMDbPro »

Ben Healy: Junior, you remember Ms. Klaukinski.
Junior: How could I forget? Her pie gave us the runs.

---

Murph: You don't know who you're talking to. I'm a senior student at this school.
Junior: No shit, you've been here since 1970.

---

Lawanda Dumore: Listen here you little monster! I am gonna marry your daddy. And then you'll be on the next plane to boarding school. In Baghdad!

---

Mr. Peabody: I'll have to call you back. I gotta deal with one of the little weenies right now.
[Hangs up phone and then talks through intercom]
Mr. Peabody: Send the little sweetheart in.

---

Ben Healey: Junior, 3rd grade is the foundation of a great education. If you don't go, you'll only hurt yourself.
Junior Healy: I'm sure I'll take a few others down with me.

---

Trixie: You're gonna wish you'd never been born.
Junior: Ooh! I'm really scared. I'm being threatened by the Tidy Bowl girl!

---

[Junior is about to draw a mustache on a photo of Annie]
Trixie: I wouldn't do that if I were you!
Junior: If I were you I wouldn't do alot of things, like go out in public.

---

[after Junior shows the town a video of his babysitter and her boyfriend having sex]
Ben Healey: Junior, we're new here! Can't we at least attempt to fit in?
Junior Healey: What are you getting onto me for? I didn't do anything. I just watched it.
Ben Healey: Yes, and so did the entire neighborhood.
Junior Healey: I didn't hear any complaints.

---

[Trixie just tied up the players for the puppet show and continues it herself]
Trixie: [as Uncle Sam] Sorry about the delay folks, but we are having technical difficulties.
[as Baldy]
Trixie: Yeah I had to scratch my balls!

---

[seeing his made-over bedroom]
Junior: Clowns! I hate clowns! This woman is busting my balls!

---

Junior: But my dad said the 3rd grade is the foundation of my education.
Mr. Peabody: Oh, your dad said that. Your dad is a Moron. He's a moron, you know what a moron is?, that's what your dad is.

---

'Big' Ben Healy: [finds his own dog in a yard sale] Nippy, what the hell are you doing here? They're selling you for a nickel?

---

Junior: Ahh, finally I get some room in here.
'Big' Ben Healy: You little psycho, this time you've gone too far.
Junior: Ah, shut your trap.
'Big' Ben Healy: You're an evil boy. And you've gotta learn to respect your elders. If your old man won't teach you some manners, by god I will.

---

Ben Healy: Junior, now you get out of this car! You are going to school.
Junior: No way I'd rather eat a turd!

---

Junior: [thinking in his head] The bitch... must die!

---

Junior: [thinking in his head] This babysitter sucks!

---

Voytek: [picks up phone] Hello?
Junior: Are you the guy that married Debbie Claukinski?
Voytek: [sobbing] Yes. She took my house, my money and my pride.
Junior: Well, I thought you'd like to know, she found herself a new guy, and their out at the St. Pierre club, having fun at your expense.
Voytek: Who is this?
Junior: Just call me... a friend.

---

Lawanda Dumore: I'm Pinocchio!

---

[from the TV version]
Junior: Dad, can we go? These people are total idiots!

---

[from the TV version]
Junior: I'd rather jump off a cliff.

---

Mr. Peabody: Screw you pal! I can talk that way to anyone however I want!

---

Mr. Thorn: [Junior enters his new classroom and the students begin laughing at him, while his new teacher Mr. Thorn walks over and rolls his eyes tiresomely] Oh, no. Not another one. How many kids are they going to make me teach?
[Junior hands Mr. Thorn his envelope]
Mr. Thorn: Well, get in here and find a seat. Go ahead. Come on, come on, come on! Hustle, small fry. I'm not gonna have you holding up my class all year. now, let's move it!
[Junior sits down at his desk]
Mr. Thorn: Now, let's start with a nice easy review to see how much you underachievers remember from last year. Polly, what's 17 times 8?
Polly: 136.
[Bows rather smart and sits back down]
Mr. Thorn: Good. Richard, what's 72 divided by -9?
Richard: -8, sir.
[sits back down]
Mr. Thorn: Fine. Murph!
[cut to Murph picking his nose]
Mr. Thorn: Murph! What's 3 plus 2?
Murph: Mmmmm... 4.
[Everyone laughs]
Mr. Thorn: [sighs] Murph, you've been in the 6th grade since I started teaching here, I really want to get you out this year. Now, please, please work with me. What's 3 plus 2?
Murph: 9?
[Everyone laughs again as Mr. thorn closes his eyes in despair]
Mr. Thorn: I can see this is going to be a long year.
Junior: [angrily] 5, all right? The answer is 5!
Mr. Thorn: You!
[walks over to Junior's desk]
Mr. Thorn: What're you saying?
Junior: Uh, I said 5.
Mr. Thorn: Dandy, I'm glad someone's paying attention here.

---

Ben Healy: Junior, we are new here in this community. Can't we, at least, attempt to fit in?
Junior: What're you getting angry at me for? I didn't do it. I just watched it.
Ben Healy: Yes, and so did the entire neighborhood.
Junior: I didn't hear any complaints.

---

Related Links

Plot summary	Plot synopsis	Plot keywords
Parents Guide	User comments	Trivia
Goofs	Main details	IMDb quotes browser
Search quotes section
Browse titles with quotes by letter    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Other

*