Quotes for
Archimedes (Character)
from The Sword in the Stone (1963)

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The Sword in the Stone (1963)

Merlin: Blow me to Bermuda!
[Merlin suddenly blasts off like a rocket]
Arthur: Where... Where did he go?
Archimedes the Owl: To Bermuda, I suppose.
Arthur: Where's that?
Archimedes the Owl: Oh, an island way off somewhere that hasn't been discovered yet.
Arthur: Will he ever come back?
Archimedes the Owl: Who knows? Who knows anything?

[preparing for the Wizards' Duel]
Madame Mim: Now, first of all, if you don't mind, I'll make the rules.
Archimedes the Owl: Rules, indeed. Why, she only wants rules so she can break 'em.
Madame Mim: I'll take care of you later, featherbrain.
[Archimedes huffs indignantly]
Madame Mim: Rule One: No mineral or vegetable, only animal. Rule Two: No make-believe things like, ooh, pink dragons and stuff. Now, Rule Three: No disappearing.
[pinches Merlin playfully on the nose]
Merlin: Rule Four: No cheating.

Archimedes the Owl: Oh, Man will fly all right. Just like a rock.

Merlin: Big news, eh? Can't wait for the London Times. Next edition won't be out for another, oh, twelve hundred years. Archimedes, would you mind sailing down there and...
Archimedes the Owl: Not interested!
Merlin: Oh, come, come, come, come now. You're as wet as you can get.
Archimedes the Owl: No! No, no, no!
Merlin: Archimedes, I'll turn you into a human.
Archimedes the Owl: You wouldn't dare!
Merlin: I will, so help me I will!
Archimedes the Owl: All right! All right!
[Archimedes leaves]
Merlin: Works every time. Just like magic.

Sir Pelinore: It's not just a mere show of muscle, my boy. Jousting is a fine skill. A highly-developed science.
Merlin: Science indeed! One dummy trying to knock over another dummy with a bit of a stick.
Archimedes the Owl: And the Wart is just as hot for it as the rest of them.
Merlin: Aye, That he is. That boy has a real spark. Lots of spirit. Throws himself heart and soul into everything he does. That is really worth something, if it could only be turned in the right direction.
Archimedes the Owl: Ha ha! Fat chance of that.
Merlin: Oh, I intend to cheat, of course. Use magic. Every trick in the book if I have to.

Archimedes the Owl: Now then, boy. Flying is not just some crude, mechanical process. It is a delicate art. Purely aesthetic. Poetry of motion. And the only way to learn it is to do it.

Merlin: Now, Archimedes. Why would you half-drown yourself for a tidbit of fish, and after such a big breakfast?
Archimedes the Owl: Pinfeathers and...
[puffs up suddenly]
Archimedes the Owl: ...golly fluff!

Arthur: Oh, what a perfect stuffed owl.
Archimedes the Owl: [huffing] Stuffed... I beg your pardon?
Arthur: He's alive, and he talks!
Archimedes the Owl: And certainly a great deal better than you do!

Archimedes the Owl: If the boy goes about saying the world is round, they'll take him for a lunatic.
Arthur: The world is round?
Merlin: Yes. Yes, that's right, and it also goes a-round.
Arthur: You mean it'll be round someday.
Merlin: No, no, no, it's round now. Man will discover this in centuries to come. And he will also find that the world is merely a tiny speck in the universe.
Arthur: Universe?
Archimedes the Owl: You're only confusing the boy. Before you're through, he'll be so mixed up, he'll... he'll be wearing his shoes on his head!

Arthur: I'm in an awful pickle. I'm king!
Archimedes the Owl: He pulled the sword from the stone.
Merlin: Ha ha! Of course, of course. King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table.
Arthur: Round table?
Merlin: Oh, would you rather have a square one?
Arthur: Oh, no. Round will be fine.

Arthur: You mean you know everything before it happens?
Merlin: Yes, everything.
Archimedes the Owl: Uh-uh-uh-uh! Everything, Merlin?
Merlin: Uh, uh... No, no. I must admit, I did not know just whom to expect for tea. But as you can see, I figured the exact place.

Merlin: Archimedes, where... where are we?
Archimedes the Owl: In a tumbled-down old tower in the most misearble old castle in all Christiandom. That's where.
Merlin: Ca... castle?
Archimedes the Owl: Don't you even remember the boy?
Merlin: Boy?
Sir Ector: [outside, to Kay] Can't you remember one blasted thing?
Merlin: [to Archimedes] Now, just a moment...
Sir Ector: Firm grasp on the lance!
Merlin: Oh.

Archimedes the Owl: Wha-what's up, boy? What's going on?
Arthur: They're having a Wizard's Duel. What's that mean?
Archimedes the Owl: Oh, it's a battle of wits. The players change themselves to different things in an attempt to... to... destroy one another.
Arthur: D-d-des-destroy?
Archimedes the Owl: Just watch, boy. Just watch. You'll get the idea.

Archimedes the Owl: So from now on, you do as I say.
Arthur: Yes, sir.
Archimedes the Owl: Now then, to start off, I want you to read these books.
[Points to a huge pile of books]
Arthur: All of them?
Archimedes the Owl: That, my boy, is a mountain of knowledge.
Arthur: But I can't read.
Archimedes the Owl: What-what? What? And I suppose you don't know how to write, either?
Arthur: N-no, sir.
Archimedes the Owl: Well, what do you know?
Arthur: I...
Archimedes the Owl: No matter. No matter. We'll start at the bottom, the ABCs.

Arthur: [Enters Merlin's room wearing his squire robes] Merlin, look! I'm a squire!
[Merlin scoffs]
Archimedes the Owl: Oh... very nice, boy.
Merlin: Yes, indeed. A fine monkey suit for polishing boots.
Arthur: It's- it's what all squires wear.
Merlin: And I thought you were going to amount to something. I thought you had a few brains! Great future. Ha! A stooge for that big lunk Kay. Congratulations, boy!

Archimedes the Owl: Pinfeathers and Gullyfluff!

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